Ya Calmate

Sunday night phone call with my dad:

 

Me: Dad, I want to know if you have room for me at the shop. I'd like to work with you until I decide what I'm going to do here.

 

Him: Uh uh, no, I don't want you around here until everything with your boyfriend clears up.  I don't want to be caught up in middle of the blow-up.

 

Me: What? What are you sayin?

 

Him: I don't need any of Gerry's shit here at the shop.  You can come work here once he's dealt with you.

 

Me: Don't be silly, Dad.  I'll be there at 8 in the morning, with coffee and tacos.  Bye.

 

Him: No, for real, don't...*click*

 

Twenty minutes later I get a text, and he's not a texter so I know it took him all of those 20 minutes to send it.  "I mean it. Don't go to the shop."  I texted back that I hadn't read any text and I'd be there at 8.  Poor man, he resends the text.  I didn't reply a second time.  Since he didn't hear from me I guess he called my brother and had him call me to tell me the same thing.  I didn't bother him again that night.

 

At six the following morning I hear a loud truck in the otherwise quiet neighborhood.  Jeremy's mom comes to wake me up to let me know my dad is outside.  I get shoes on and head outside.  Yeah, it's him.  He wants me to drive one of the haulers to Houston for auction.  What?? What if Gerry starts shit I asked.  Gerry wouldn't, I was just giving my dad a hard time.  I go back in get dressed and apologize to Jeremy's mom for the short notice that I was going to go work with my dad.  Of course it was ok with her.  Off I go.  I move my dad out of the driver's side. If I'm going, I'm driving.  It's six and I'd like to make it into Houston before eight, which means that in order to do that we can't drive like an old man. 

 

This old man waits 'til we're in middle of nowhere to start shit with me.  Well, we're on I10, but it's like 45 minutes into the trip so that puts us in the middle of no where.  He lets me know that he's called Gerry and they spoke at great length about me and our relationship? Excuse me? OF course this sets me off.  

 

"Ya calmate."

 

"OMFG.  DAD!!!!!! OMG. You are so lucky Will has nobody in his life because I swear if it weren't for Will I'd be flipping your hauler right now." (more cursing ensues)

 

"He's coming for dinner."

 

Now he's gone and done it.  I am so beyond pissed.  Trust me we made it to Houston in record time.  

 

"Don't speak to me the rest of the day, and if you think I'm helping load, you better think again."

 

I still go on, how dare he, blah, blah, blah.

 

"Ya calmate." 

 

"Say that to me one more time and I'm going to punch you in the face."

 

"You're ugly when you act like your mom."

 

Yeah, that's the thing to say to me when you're wanting to calm me down.

 

 

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Comments (4)

  1. bechtol

    My dad is not really old—he’s on the young side of old. I call him old man playfully. Unless he pisses me off.

    February 04, 2015
  2. capshaw

    I wouldn’t have liked that much either.

    February 07, 2015
    1. bechtol

      Hello Stranger.

      February 07, 2015
  3. capshaw

    Hey you. Sorry for the long reply. Haven’t been here much lately.

    February 11, 2015