Gerry and I are officially broken up.
I had some kind of wake up moment and thought to myself, wtf am I doing. He is not who I want, I mean he is ok, I just realized I don't love him, I probably never can and we really have no future together. I don't like his family, well, the way I should, I mean after all they'll be around forever. No, he isn't the one for me.
Would it be low of me to say that it saddens me he didn't fight to keep me? I am kind of messed up in that way I guess. I'm ok.
I went shopping yesterday for my new place. Mainly pictures, comforter sets and other home decor items. I have actual furniture--Scott's cast offs and TVs. I am excited about moving and maybe starting over. I think I can do this alone, if my dad thinks I have it in me, than maybe I do. And, I know it isn't going to be easy at times, but....I won't crumble and wanna die, or drink. That's a big part of going at it alone, remaining sober at all times.
This will be my new begining.