After Jack 2

Like before, I didn't stay long at my brother's place.  Part of Jack's solution had included suggesting abortion, but no, that wasn't acceptable to me either.  So once it became obvious that that wasn't happening Jeremy's parents came around asking what my plans were.  Um, to give birth? Days after their visit Jeremy came to town with another solution.  He suggested we move in together.  He said if I was set on having the baby then we should do everything possible to do things right.  We were to move in together, not because we loved each other or considered ourselves a couple, but living together HE thought maybe we could capture what once was and we'd fall in love all over again and be the happy little family.  I agreed.  He asked for a transfer to Texas, he couldn't do that until Sept. and even then it wasn't close by, he'd have to be in Waco for a year before being able to be at their Austin office.  (Waco is almost 3 hours from our hometown.) But we were ok with that.  I expected to stay at my dad's until Jeremy moved down, but his parents insisted on putting me up in an apartment. 


I am a fucked up person, happiness is something I've never been able to find....or keep, it eludes me.  We never made it to Sept 1st.  I wanted Scott.  So....that's where I went, I hightailed it to Dallas (I call everything past the 35 split Dallas, I actually lived in Plano.) Jeremy was beyond pissed, rightfully so of course.  He dropped out of my life, he did go on to Waco, I mean he had no choice, but we never spoke until after Matty was born (born and paternity established).  His parents on the other hand remained active in my pregnancy, they made monthly visits to Dallas for my appointments, they bought most of the baby items needed.  They had met Scott of course, they liked him, they were ok with him because I supposed they thought he was sane and they probably assumed he'd keep reeled in. I scheduled most of the appointments on a Friday and they'd usually arrive that morning and spend the night at our place. Life was could have been perfect really had I not been insane.


That was my longest sober period.  I didn't drink from June 2, 2011 until Super Bowl Sunday 2012.  That's when Matty was born, I won't go into the circumstances of his need to rehash that.  Jeremy's parents were there for that as well.  His mother stayed at our place for almost six weeks after Matty was born.  Scott's mother helped out as well.  I think Matty was almost two months old when we finally did the DNA test.  We only did it for Jeremy's sake.  Everybody else could plainly see he looked like his dad.  He has my big nose and Mickey Mouse ears, everything else is Jeremy.


Jeremy didn't become active in Matty's life until a couple of months after the test.  Now he's father of the year, I'm a fucked up person and a bitch too, I bring him down to earth reminding him of how had I listened to him we'd not have a son to fight over.  He likes to ignore that.


November of that year, 2011, several months before giving birth the Aussie appeared in the states.  His job was sending him to California, he asked if I'd like to meet.  I could either go to CA or he could come to Dallas after his business.  I opted to fly to CA.  I'd chatted with the Aussie since 2009, this would be our first meeting.



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Comments (1)

  1. ru5ty

    Please don’t go negative on yourself, please. If possible, please make alternative living arrangements for yourself, as a means of starting-out fresh. Sometimes, a change of scenery is all it takes to get that missing fresh-perspective on life. We all want what is best for you. In the event that this is not possible, then please make a/more adjustment(s) to your existing external environment (including contact with existing person/s), that would assist you in. Your overall health is extremely important. Thank you very much for your time and please take care.

    January 10, 2015