I can't sleep. I have these mood swings, no not those associated with my illness--I'm OK in that regard. Many hours ago I was OK with myself. I believed I could handle things alone, you know being on my own, a job, fall session. Now tossing and turning here in this insane darkness, I'm not so sure. I mean yeah I suppose I am capable, but why should I have to. I sooo want to be taken care of. It's not fair that I can never have this. I want to call Scott and beg to be taken back. He's the closest that I've had in being taken care of. I think I need somebody handling my life....Just tell me what to do and I'll do it....Maybe by morning I'll be back to believing I can be all that. Or maybe I'll call that man.
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