Round 2

Not sure why I feel the need for Gerry to eat his words or to somehow admit that I matter to him in some way.  I know it's true that that's what this relationship became.  But we had history, ok a brief affair and a short dating period, before I...

My Feelings Were Hurt

He hurt my feelings.  I really try to not let things like that bother me.  I don't like to feel any kind of emotional pain, this is probably the number one reason why I drink.  I don't like to show my emotions either.  I remember being told at an...

That Punch To The Face

That punch to Jeremy's face has come with ugly ramifications.   He has pressed assault charges on me.  I will go back to the hometown next week to answer those charges and deal with all that.  This is not the worst part of it.  I didn't...

Drunken Texts

Me: I wanna cum home. Him: Whos this Me: Fk you I wanna cum home. Him: The magic word? Me: Fk you, PLEASE let me cum home. --He asks how the boys and I are doing, I reply, he asks if I'm still at Jeremy's parents or if I've gone to my...

Yeah, I'm fkd up, And What?

This isn't working, I guess it comes down to me being that same fucked up person.  I guess I just have this self destuctive personality and nothing can save me.    I'm confused as to why Jeremy even wants me.  We're not a couple, we're nothing...

A New Place

I'm not in Dallas.  I went from Jeremy's parents' place, to his place.  I am going to try to make this guy my substitute Scott...except we'll be having sex too.   I'm too tired to deal with life.  It's hard, everybody wants me to remain...

Packed & Ready to Go

All my bags are packed.  I leave in the morning.  I'm headed back to Dallas, or a 'burb anyway.  I'm not sure what I'm headed to or what I'm expecting, but I'm headed there.  I have enough to stay holed up in a hotel for a few weeks.  I expect to find...

Say What?

I don't know why anybody would want me, and that's not me downing myself, just really wondering.  I can see Scott not wanting a divorce, he's a penny pincher and is bitching and knows if I am with him he doesn't pay child support.  I fall into that...

Silent Breakfast

Late last night I called Jeremy and asked if he wanted to go to breakfast this morning before work because I had something I wanted to talk about.  He first suggested for me and Will to go over and stay the night and once both boys were asleep we'd...

Thursday

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/gI2eO_mNM88/hqdefault.jpg The xx - VCR

VCR, by The xx. Directed by Marcus Söderlund. From the album 'xx'. Buy from the world's best record store Rough Trade: http://www.roughtr...

Aww Man

The alarm went off at 5:35 this morning and I heard a groan before the mash of the snooze button.  Almost ten minutes later it went off again, this time I heard a stifled yawn and could feel him sit up.  I rolled over before I could say anything he...

Wednesdays

Wednesdays have become our AA night.  This was our second one anyway.  Jeremy attends with me, we go sit for the hour there and then we head to a movie.  It's our night away from the boys.    I wasn't keen on attending AA.  I've done it before,...