The Stress Is Here

The wedding invitations were sent out already.  I'm not the one who prepared nor mailed them.  Today my father ranted all day because he received one.  He was insulted that as the father of the bride he'd receive one, he said his presence should have...

Flooding

Major flooding going on here.  I'm OK.  My sister who lives only a couple of blocks from the river has been flooded out.  They're saying this is the worst flooding in history.   It's no longer raining but apparently the river is still rising.  A...

You Belong To Me

They say careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it.  Well I didn't wish it,  but I was bitchin' about it.   Thursday I got a call from Gerry letting me know he would be here for the wknd.  He said we had a lot to discuss.  Mainly why...

He's Gone

Gerry and I are officially broken up.   I had some kind of wake up moment and thought to myself, wtf am I doing.  He is not who I want, I mean he is ok, I just realized I don't love him, I probably never can and we really have no future...

Keep Your Ring

Still in my hometown.   Last Saturday Gerry came down to celebrate the holiday.  We had a good time.  After dinner he presented me with a ring.  It was an engagement ring.  Only it didn't come with a proposal, not that I was expecting one, or...

The Talk

We were going to drive to Brownwood, which is at least two hours away.  I was going to drive because frankly my Dad is a slow driver.  I suggested to stop off for breakfast before hitting the road, so that is what we did.  Will was with us, I was just...

Dinner With Dad

It's been a good two weeks, still back in my hometown.  Still staying with Jeremy's parents.     The day of the Houston trip blowup was not a good day for me, we had to stay over late because of trouble with one of the vehicles.  Gerry ended up...

I Am Messed Up

My Matty turned three today! I love him more than life itself.  He is such a beautiful, perfect little boy.  I know I have failed him miserably.  I am not a perfect person so therefore can't be the perfect mother.  I have failed, he too like me, will...

Ya Calmate

Sunday night phone call with my dad:   Me: Dad, I want to know if you have room for me at the shop. I'd like to work with you until I decide what I'm going to do here.   Him: Uh uh, no, I don't want you around here until everything with...

Home Alone

One day last week, I dropped off Will at his grandmother's and instead of heading to my AA meeting, I went off to catch a movie.  It was the Jennifer Lopez movie, which was sorry as shit.  If it weren't for some good looking guy that I could peek up...

We All Scream For Ice Cream

I haven't taken a drink in a while, again, not counting the days, I just know it's been a while.  And this does not mean my life is stress free, cuz it never is.  In place of liqour though, I've been eating ice cream, and I'm not talking about a...

Jeremy 3

He came home for Christmas break and we spent most of it together at my brother's place.  The night of the 23rd we had gone to the movies after the movie we grabbed nachos from Taco Bell and went off to the park. We sat in the car eating and once we...

Jeremy 2

We got passed the college thing.  He wanted to remain in Texas and I remember how a couple of our teachers helped him out.  He had applied to two Texas colleges and of course Auburn.  In the end his parents pulled what I imagine a lot of rich parents...

Jeremy

Jeremy was my first love, my first lover, my first heartbreak.   I'd known him since I was five.  We went to the same elementary school though I don't recall actually having him in any of my classes.  When you're that young I guess you just know...

The Aussie

I met the Aussie (pyhsically) in November of '11.  I was almost 6 months pregnant with Matty.  I don't even recall how the meet up happened.  I do know he was to be in the states and asked to meet and I agreed to go to CA since I'd never been there...

After Jack 2

Like before, I didn't stay long at my brother's place.  Part of Jack's solution had included suggesting abortion, but no, that wasn't acceptable to me either.  So once it became obvious that that wasn't happening Jeremy's parents came around asking...

After Jack

I didn't spend too many days with my brother after that marriage break-up.  In the days or weeks before the break-up, Scott had been in contact with me (mainly emailing) and kept telling me that he was expecting his quarterly bonus and wanted to for...

I Knew It!!!

I knew he wanted me! I said that several blogs ago too.  I knew the only reason he's now harrassing me about visitations is because he wants me back.  This evening at our exchange he came out with it.  He loves me, wants me back, will do whatever it...